8 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person

Here’s the thing about being a single, pretty much nobody will ever believe that you’re okay with being female/male and unattached, let alone believe that you might be happy about it. I have lots of conversations in which I’m asked if I’m married, have kids and that if I don’t get on it and “settle down” it will be too late to have those things….albeit if I wanted them.
I understand that it’s difficult for most people to wrap their head around the fact that a woman or a man can be single and not only love it but be happy. Some may not want marriage, a partnership, relationship or even have children.
So here are a few things you shouldn’t say to those “Singletons” in your life.

1) “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone.”
Well if that’s what you want, you will! There are approx. six billion people on this planet.  You honestly think you won’t find anyone? DUH?! Even age, race, religion, sex and whatever else, the odds are in your favor especially if you are a female since females outnumber men 2 to 1. (You lucky guys!)
People need to have relationships and experience to get them to the place they ultimately belong. So if you’re looking for Mr. Right/Ms. Right, could be they are just not available and need to gain that precious experience that will make them a perfect catch for you. Be patient and don’t settle, it will happen!

2) “Have you ever thought about dating online?”
Give.. me.. a.. break! This is 2013, online dating has been the ultimate place to have relationships for the past decade. Yes, all single women/men have not only thought about it, but have actually DONE it.  If you ask most couples, most have met online and from this writer’s experience it has worked out quite well.  Many a successful marriage was started online. So if you feel up to the challenge (online dating is just as challenging as meeting randomly in person) start an account on Match.com, eHarmony, christiansingles, Plenty of Fish or How About We and see what happens.

3) “Just play the field!”
The problem with playing the field is that, it’s mostly a man’s game. Most women aren’t real good at having casual relationships or casual sex. Besides, both usually mean that you’re spending time with people you either don’t like much or are having “not-so-great” sex with. What’s so exciting about that?
If you’re a guy, just be up front about your intentions. Don’t say one thing and do something else when you know she wants something more. Besides guys, I think you’d be surprised that if asked a woman to have a sexual relationship, how many would accommodate you with no strings attached.  Be upfront, don’t assume she knows what you mean, be simple and just say it.

4) “If I were in a different place in my life, I would want to be with you.”
Yeah, this is the equivalent of saying if I weren’t with you I’d be at home watching a horror movie in my sweats, stuffing my face with Twinkies. Just take it as they aren’t interested and move on…really MOVE ON! Saying this is just plain insulting because no one wants to feel like they are being put on hold.

5) “Is this your boyfriend/girlfriend?”
Does every person you hang out with NEED to be your boyfriend/girlfriend?  No.  Awkward for the person who’s asking unless you’re hanging out with your hott Dad or Mom is a hot MILF (still super awkward!). Let’s not make an assumption people, single men and women have opposite sex friends. Technically you don’t owe anyone an explanation even if it IS an outing with someone you like.   Call it what it is (friendship, etc.) or simply  just a couple of people hanging out.

6) “Maybe you should freeze your eggs.”
Maybe. If you are a 45 year old, a single woman who wants to have children, then this maybe a viable option, otherwise, this is a ridiculous notion.  To have someone mention this in such a cavalier manner is insulting. Freezing eggs is expensive and should really only be an option if you have physical issues that are or will prevent you from becoming pregnant or you’re getting to that age point where it may become dangerous to you and your child to be pregnant. As always, check with your doctor for suggestions based on your lifestyle and physicality.

 7) “Tick-tock!”
Fertility is a big deal. It is the source of anxiety, frustration and heartbreak for lots of women all over the globe. Having a baby is a matter of timing from all aspects. What it’s not is a contest. As a woman you need to be patient and not stress about it, it will happen when it happens. They say that anxiety and stress can actually hinder your odds of becoming pregnant, so if you’re trying.. Relax and breathe! It will happen when it’s meant to. As always, check with your doctor for any physical issues that maybe preventing you from becoming pregnant.

8) “Maybe you’re trying too hard/not trying hard enough.”
This is only valid if you’re sabotaging yourself from meeting anyone.  For example, if you’re in a bad relationship and think no one else will want you.  Well, you’re wrong.  I even went through a period of many years thinking that if the person I was with didn’t want me, then no one else would.  Try looking at it from a different prospective, like you simply aren’t meant to be with this person and there is someone else you are meant to be with… someone better, someone who makes you feel like those stupid romantic comedies. Yep, those things DO happen, you have to wait for it.
This also doesn’t mean stay at home every night, eating Ben and Jerry’s, playing Call of Duty thinking that perfect person is going to come knocking on your door. You need to put yourself out there. Go out, hang with friends, have a drink, see a show, a play, go for a walk, join a gym or church, start an online dating account and go on some dates. You need to meet people to meet someone and don’t settle, never settle.


One Night Stand: Season Two

The fur vest is back....


And that can mean only one thing: So are the boys of One Night Stand.


One Night Stand is a Web series that follows an infamous Minneapolis rock band of the same name. A decade has passed their prime, but it’s not stopping its members Rikki Rash (Ryan Kiser), Paul Spitz (Pete Duffy), Ace Storm (Brandon Van Vliet) and Chester "Mac" McDonald (Eric McCulloch) from giving superstardom another go. The only things standing in their way are their soaring egos, repeated drug use and deep rooted insecurities.


Season Two recently premiered at the St. Anthony Main Theatre in Minneapolis; the six new episodes were screened back-to-back. The premiere was set to start at 6:45 sharp, but the cast was fashionably late, making their appearance closer to 7:15.


The emcee asked the crowd: “Are you ready for sex, drugs and rock-n-roll?” The crowd whooped and clapped in response. A few cast members were introduced, including Kiser and Van Vliet. Kiser thanked the crowd for attending; Van Vliet said his thanks, and said he was sick.


Next, came the moment we’d all been waiting for: One Night Stand season two episodes.


I won’t share any spoilers, but here’s a little of what I’ll tell you about season two:

- Episode one starts with Paul wanting to get One Night Stand back together. Ace sarcastically agrees if he can get Rikki and Mac on board within 24 hours. Paul convinces Rikki and Mac to join him and talk to Ace. Ace gives up on promising stardom and notoriety to re-join One Night Stand; as he says, “I must be addicted to misery.”


- A roast for the boys looks suspiciously more like an intervention


- There’s a crazy, sexy seduction using a sandwich made with a white bun and Miracle Whip mayonnaise


- By reuniting, the boys have pissed off a few people, and those people want revenge


- Colin has a secret that shapes his career and One Night Stand’s musical future


- One Night Stand may be united and ready to rock, there’s a huge twist that will leave you wondering if the band is fated to never play together again


If you want to know more, watch the episodes on Vimeo (http://vimeo.com/channels/79075), they really are worth the wait. And fingers crossed there’s a season three.


For more information on One Night Stand
Official Web Site: http://www.onsrocks.com/home.html
Official Facebook:
Official Twitter:

By Christine Mlodzik
(Christine writes about film and music for Rift magazine and is a guest writer for Sex in the Twin Cities)


Grand Old Day-The Day of Days!

Have you heard of it? If you haven’t, you definitely need to go! 

When it comes to big events in the Twin Cities, this is the biggest of the summer!

This free event is today on Grand Avenue in downtown St. Paul and is from 8am-6pm.

Things kick off with the parade marching down Grand Avenue. There are 3 areas for family fun with a petting zoo, teens fro the School of Rock, games and pony rides. In the entertainment section there are six music stages with bands such as The Melismatics, ElnO, and Hookers and Blow. Wristbands will run at $8 and get you into all the shows!
For more information and a guide to the event please go to www.grandave.com


Scenetap hits Minneapolis/St. Paul

It's called Scenetap. Scenetap gives you the stats of your favorite hang outs. It started in Chicago and is establishing networks in New York, Boston, DC, Miami, Austin, Columbus, St. Louis, Phoenix, San Diego, Las Vegas, and popular college towns across the country and it's now in Minnesota!

By using cameras to record the number of customers that enter, gender and approx age you can decide which venue to go to based on attendance and how many men vs women.. Can we say DATING OPPS??? Because we are a state of Twin Cities, we get the benefit of Scenetap for Minneapolis and St. Paul!

Some of the clubs in St. Paul that are tapped in are The Amsterdam, Barrio, Big V's, The Chatterbox, The Minnesota Music Cafe and Patrick McGovern's.

The Minneapolis clubs are: Brit's, The Shout House, Club Jag, Kieran's, The CC Club and Pshycho Suzi's as well Prohibition!

You can get it online or in a mobile app, just look for Scenetap!


Need a New Kitchen or Bath?

Watch the DIY network? Ever heard of I Hate my Kitchen or I Hate my Bath? Did you know both are filmed here in the Twin Cities? Yep, and they are in need of some nasty kitchens and baths!

The DIY Network is casting for both shows.

Benefits of Participating?

- Free professional designer
- A complete kitchen makeover at minimal cost to you!

And the requirements?

- Your home must be within 25 miles of Downtown Minneapolis.
- You must be open to fun, out-of-the-box ideas.
- Homeowners may need to contribute financially, depending on the scope of design.

Go here to be considered and sign up!