First off let me say that I absolutely, positively hate the term “Cougar”. Why don’t we have a name for guys who date younger “girls” other than mid-life crisis? Several articles say a “Cougar” refers to sexual relations between people with a significant difference in age. I’m not talking 2-3 years. I’m talking 10-15 yrs younger; a Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher romance. Why do these older women (I’m including myself here) want to date a younger guy? It’s not what you’d think. There are several reasons so hang onto your pants fellas you’re going to be schooled.
Energy Level: Most women (not all-everyone is different) are able to maintain a certain energy level throughout their lives. Both people have to come to a balance where both energy levels are pretty much even. Now, before you older men get up in arms, we are talking about day to day energy levels. For example, my energy level is so high from day to day that it’s almost impossible to sleep. I work 2 jobs, go to school full time (accelerated courses) write for 2 blogs, workout and manage to have a social life. I’ve been this way all of my life to the point doctors told my parents to put me on drugs to make me more docile. With that being said, it’s next to impossible to find someone who is Mock 5 with their hair on fire. I don’t know of many 45-50 year olds who can stay up until 3am on a Friday night, can you? Even several of my late 30-something guy friends can’t stay up that late. Most women want a man to keep up with them.
Emotional Baggage: “Cougars” want the full experience of dating someone who has energy, is chivalrous and, best of all, relatively free of the emotional baggage of past relationships. I mean, don’t we have enough of our own? “Cougars” get a younger guy when he hasn’t had an opportunity for that same-aged girl to break his heart. Now guys, you still are going to have to be selective. There are “Cougars” out there who carry a lot of heavy baggage; from divorce, bad relationships and sometimes just aging in general,things that a younger gal doesn’t necessarily possess.
Confidence: An older woman has plenty of life experience to share. It's great to be with someone who "knows the ropes". You can learn so much and we have no problem showing you. You get exposed to so many new things you otherwise wouldn't. The younger man can be hypnotized with all the new found knowledge and experience a "Cougar" can offer. We have no problem going up against younger gals because we have confidence, experience and class on our side.
Established: “Cougars” have things; a home, careers, lives, educations and had children or have decided not to. Older women have bought property or homes. We have had well established careers with stable income. We’ve completed college or have at least decided not to. Our children (if we’ve had them) are usually grown. Our lives are comfortable. We buy things because we can; we take vacations and have substantial savings. At this point our lives are pretty stable and we are simply looking for someone to share it with. We indeed have a lot more pressure and things to think about, more so than your average college co-ed.
Sex: OK, OK, I’m sure some of you have been waiting for me to talk about this point. There is the sex. We are simply better at it; we have to be, we've have had several years of experience and PRACTICE. It doesn’t matter if we’d been married before or have been in several relationships, with those years comes sexual advancement and experimentation that you can’t get from a 20 year old or 30 something. The confidence level also translates into this because we know who we are, and aren’t afraid to show it or you. Our bodies may not be the tight, firm bodies we had in our youth but we no longer care nor do we need it. We can do so much with our bodies now that we ever could in our younger days. Blame it on youth for we had no idea what we could do with what we had! This is why I couldn’t (still can’t) understand why older men picked younger gals over the older. They indeed have firmer bodies and youth on their side, but younger gals aren’t as forgiving as the older ones because they don’t have to be. They desire to be with someone who shares their energy level too; someone their own age. Also, women in their 40’s are at their sexual peak. To put this perspective, older women are very much like a pubescent boy. Our sexual levels are high and we are looking for a sexual match or are sometimes willing to train one.
So guys, if you’re willing or wanting to date an older woman you need to at least get her attention. Don’t use weak one liners or lame pick up lines, try just being yourself and be upfront with your intentions, for nothing will turn a “Cougar” off more than a bull-shitter.Noted "Cougars": Demi Moore, Cindy Margolis, Halle Berry and Courtney Cox